You can’t imagine it, the singer states. There she was preparing for her new album launch in eight years, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in spring she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The singer-songwriter, birth name J. Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The album, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an open book, tackling every moment of pain she’d experienced since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Then second single, Living My Best Life, debuted in late spring and she was talking to press about how she was thriving, while all the while dealing with the disease. A month later she went public, and in the start of summer she received surgical treatment.
She offers me her best “Seriously?” glance. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every press talk, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I respond, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to postpone shows because she’s yet to undergo follow-up surgery.
We meet at a studio in the capital. She is sporting a light brown synthetic jacket, jeans with ornate white designs, cream boots and large glasses. Think rocker vibe meets vintage look. “I feel like I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, thinking of the movie. “They used to call me that!” She grins. She is sharp-witted, irreverent and blunt. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is planning to attempt her first comedy performance soon. “I enjoy humor. On stage I often tease the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was planning an performance at the ceremony when she noticed an abnormality. “I immediately went to get it checked, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I responded, ‘However, it’s there. I’ve got an achy arm and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘We should biopsy it?’ It happened on March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The specialist told her if it was bad news she’d call on the Monday. By then Cornish had persuaded herself it was nothing. The way she explains it, it was simply too inconvenient to receive a diagnosis when she had so much on.
“Just two weeks before from releasing the album after a long hiatus and no new music. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I join the call thinking it’s all going to be fine, and she goes, ‘You might want to sit.’ The solemn tone? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your biopsy results have shown malignant cells.’” What was your reaction? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. What awful timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She viewed the procedure scary and bizarre. “I hate being put under. They lead you. You know when you have emergency surgery you go on a gurney, but then I just walked with a medical attire and my rear exposed. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but yet Luckily it was detected early. The surgery happened four months ago and my right breast now looks like a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The next operation is for health and appearance. Her chest, she remarks, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. How rude! I felt, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. So rude! Amusingly I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be perfect. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
She is no stranger to illness. She feels her outlook on her diagnosis has been so upbeat because she’s used to health crises. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to highlight not to be complacent. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Since childhood, it has often paired with high points for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”
She reminisces to her childhood, already beginning starring in the stage in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of nine). That’s when she was diagnosed with the cardiac issue a syndrome, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as dizziness and palpitations. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She skips forward six years, and 17-year-old Jess has joined the girl group the group while enrolled in the performing arts school. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was ready to debut in the year 2020 I had a car crash and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a long period.”
Oi, I say, wait, I can’t keep up. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
